WHAT DO I DO NOW???!!!
Shock? Disbelief? Denial? Fear? Anger? My future is ruined? I’m too young? I just want to escape?
Or maybe you and your girlfriend planned this, and your feelings are:
Happy? Excited? A little scared? Concerned about telling your parents?
Whatever your initial feelings are, hearing the news that you have created your first child is bound to result in some powerful emotions. But if you think your emotions are going crazy, just stop for a minute and think about what your girlfriend is feeling – the very same things!
So, before either of you panics, gets angry, or lays blame, just remember that it took both of you to create this pregnancy, and now you both need to stop and think clearly about what happens next.
Here are some dos and don’ts to help you get started:
1. Stay calm.
2. Start to talk about and research all of your options together.
3. Support your girlfriend emotionally.
4. Pull together; don’t pull apart.
5. Let her know you’ll work this out together.
1. Get angry.
2. Shout at your girlfriend.
3. Say things like: “It’s not mine!” “You’ve ruined my life!” “My parents will kill me!” “You’ll have to get an abortion!” “It’s your decision, not mine.”
4. Pressure her to have an abortion.
Abortion – Isn’t that the easy way out? Won’t it just make it all go away?
Get the facts before you act. Abortion is serious and permanent, so get the facts first. Check out the abortion section of teenbreaks.com – know what abortion really is and understand the potential complications for both of you.
OMG – MY PARENTS!… AND HERS!!
They’ll be furious!
I have to finish school!
They have such high hopes for me!
They’ll be so disappointed!
Her parents will kill me!
Soooo, before you think about your parents, think for yourselves. Get the facts and have a plan. They will feel the same emotions you did when they first hear, but no parents ever killed their teenagers because of a pregnancy. And if you get your act together and present a united rational picture, it will be much less traumatic for them and for you. Bear in mind that many parents have a very negative first reaction which does a big 180 degrees after it settles in that this is their grandchild you’ve created!
OK. So what’s next? Well, you’re not the first guy this has happened to. One in every seven sexually active teen males has made a partner pregnant, and there’s really lots of help available. So here are some starters:
1. You can check out “What Happens From Conception to Birth” in this section to see what this pregnancy means physically and genetically.
4. Finally, now it’s time to talk to people who can help you evaluate your own personal situation. There’s an organization called Optionline which has helped thousands of pregnant girls and their boyfriends. Their help is always free and confidential, they are available 24/7, and they have local centers all over the country. You can call them at 1-800-712-HELP or click on the Optionline link on this page. They can even help with your parents!
And since situations differ, they can help you look specifically at your own.
1. Maybe you and your girlfriend have been together for a long time and talked about marriage in the future.
2. Maybe you’ve been together only a short time and are really young.
3. Maybe you had broken up with your girlfriend before you found out she is pregnant.
4. Or maybe you barely know each other, and this was just a one-time thing.
There are different solutions for different situations, and it’s important to talk them through before you come to any decision because ANY decision you make from this point on will be life altering.