NOT simply done

NOT simply done

The point of this blog might be stated simply, healing the grief. If you have ever lost any one close to you, you know that is NOT simply done. After an abortion many woman feel numerous things. Some woman state they feel fine. And go on about their everyday lives until one day it just isn’t any more. Others have a period of regret. What have they done? An overwhelming sense of remorse. And still there are others that might not be able to put their finger on it. A sad lonely kind of day that tears whelp up in their eyes. And the countless others that are too scared to talk about this ache in the pit of their soul.

Disenfranchised grief happens when a woman is not allowed to openly discuss, inform or share her experience that might be normally okay under different circumstances.  The loss is totally real, but survivors are not given the “right to grieve” by most people around them. This can be problematic for many. In some cases it can lead to “blue days.” Days that are filled with tears that may not stop. Depression can follow after a period of time. Woman may feel like they are stuck or hopeless. If a woman has not already connected this sadness, hopelessness or depression with her abortion it may come out at this time.

Grief is a process. If one does not move thru this they can become stuck and trapped. Often women burry their pain. Some try to work it away becoming workaholics. Never stopping to process and deal with the hurt. Many try to medicate themselves with alcohol or drugs only to prolong the pain and hurt. This pain may start out small, like a chip in your windshield.  Eventually the pain will increase, spreading to other parts of a woman’s life. Now that pain is constant. That chip in the windshield has splintered across your whole view. What once was small and manageable is out of control.

You can have control again. You can have peace again.

These are a few simple suggestions to get you started in the process of recovery!

Admit the secret! Secrets kill. And let’s face it… it’s killing a lot of women. What better way to find help than at Options for Women!

Find a comfortable place and put pen to paper; let your feelings out! Many times it is a need to get things out that you are able to verbalize. It might just be for your own need. Sometimes woman cannot say what they need to say to a loved one or a spouse. Or perhaps, it is a letter you write to that unborn child.

Grieve the child. Remember a date. Mourn the loss. Frame an ultrasound picture. Name the child. Plant a tree. Wear a memorial piece of jewelry.

Join a support group. Or seek care from others who have been trained and are willing to care. There’s strength in numbers. Options for Women would like to support you in your abortion recovery.